


Redemption

by LarryPhanGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Blood, Bottom Dean Winchester, Come Eating, Consensual Underage Sex, Dark, Escape, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Human Experimentation, M/M, Masturbation, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Murder, Not brothers, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Underage - Freeform, Underage Handjob, Underage Sex, Violence, blowjob, handjobs, slick, underage blowjob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-05 09:05:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16807606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarryPhanGirl/pseuds/LarryPhanGirl
Summary: Dean is a 15 year old boy, living in a science institution. He’s a living experiment. The doctors force him to get pregnant. They want to create the first baby born from all males.Warnings: Read tags, could be very triggering.*On Long Hiatus*





	1. One

White walls. Screeching of hurt monkeys. Whimpered barks of tortured puppies. Deep, gravelly voices from the evil men in white coats. That’s what Dean Winchester is surrounded by every minute of every day. The coldness of the steel of his cage is a nice contrast to the burning heat of the temperature inside himself. Fresh drops of green tinted tears stain his cheeks as they run down, his fresh cuts stinging from the saltiness of his tears. There’s a dull ache in his belly, a feeling he knows all too well. He touches his slightly rounded tummy but yanks it away as the door opens and a man in a white coat enters. 

“Test Subject Omega,” the white coat says, addressing Dean by the name of the project. “Dean. Were we successful this time?” Dean gives the man the slightest of nods and subtly backs away from him. The man grabs his radio and talks quietly into it but Dean knows what he’s saying. The men in the coats say the same things all the time. “Subject Omega is pregnant, sir. It’s been almost a month and no loss of the pregnancy yet.” 

Dean prays that the ache in his belly goes away. He doesn’t want to go through the torture of their tests again. He just wants to birth a baby so he can be let go. The cage is opened and the man gently helps Dean get out of the cage.  _ They’re only gentle when I have a baby in me, _ Dean thinks to himself as the man lifts him on top of a metal table. They take out the machine that shows Dean’s insides and squeeze some jelly onto Dean’s stomach. The men in white coats never give Dean any clothes, they want Dean to be fully accessible for whenever they please. A sharp pain shoots through Dean’s stomach as the man presses on it with the instrument. Dean’s legs go lax and spread a little as he feels the surge of blood and clots rush out of him. 

He hears the man’s cries of disgust as he radios his boss. Dean braces himself, knowing the torture and roughness is coming back. He lost the baby, their project. He knows what’s coming. He flinches as the man flips the metal table, landing on the floor hard. He braces himself so he doesn’t hit his head and bust it open. The pressure on his belly from hitting the ground, squishes out the rest of the failed experiment. The man lifts Dean up by the arms and throws him against the wall. Dean’s head flies back hard against the wall with a loud crack. He feels blood pouring from the back of his head but makes no move to stop it. “You idiot!” the man yells at him. “We spend millions of dollars on you and you lose the baby every time!” The man presses a button on the wall by the door then stomps his way towards Dean. He grabs Dean by the arm again and pushes him down on the ground, face first. The man sits on Dean’s legs as the door opens and more white coated men rush into the room. 

One of the men addresses the man on top of Dean. “Did you prepare the drugs?” 

“No,” says the man on top of Dean, already wiggling to get out of his clothes. “Prepare them then inject him. Make it a double dose this time.” As the other men get needles, drugs in liquid form and other necessary things to inject Dean, the man on top of him pushes Dean’s ass cheeks apart. The man shoved his cock into Dean, using the blood as lube. A scream rips from Dean’s throat as the man roughly has his way with him. He doesn’t even register the pain of being injected. Fire erupts within Dean’s vein as the homemade serum makes its way through his body. Dean says nothing, only giving silent whimpers as the man in and above him thrusts. The man leans forward to whisper in Dean’s ear. “I’ve had enough of you losing our babies. We’re gonna get you pregnant and you’re gonna be a good mommy and keep it inside you.” 

Dean slips into unconsciousness as the drugs course through him, silently hoping he doesn’t wake up this time. 


	2. Two

Dean wakes up back in his cage, fresh cuts and bruises littering his skin. He touches the back of his head and feels for where he cracked open his head. It’s been stitched together, although crudely. He hears a man chuckling from the other side of the room and his eyes snap up to look at him. “Finally awake, I see,” the man bends down to look into the cage at Dean. “Here you go, baby boy.” The man said “baby boy” in such a venomous tone that it made Dean shrink back in fear. The man slides a bowl of water towards Dean, the force of the slide making the water splash out. The man also throws a baggie of pills towards Dean. “Take them all or suffer.” He walks out of the room quickly after that, leaving Dean to himself. 

Dean quickly downs the pills and the water, deciding he’d rather not suffer anymore beatings. He pushes the bowl and bag back out of the cage and curls into a ball, trying to keep warm. His inner temperature is high but the air around him is freezing. The doctors took out the other animals in cages after Dean lost the last baby. Dean hates the silence that’s now prevalent. Dean looks at the palms of his hands and watches as drops of bright green blood drip slowly to the floor. The newest dose of drugs have caused more side effects to Dean’s body.  _ I’m a freak. A fucking freak.  _

The door slams open, startling Dean into hitting his feet on the side of his cage. “Quiet, bitch,” one of the men in white coats growled out. He throws two pieces of stale, hard bread into the cage and stomps back out. Dean stuffs his face, not giving a shit about the freshness, only caring about the food. Dean settles back into a ball and closes his eyes, praying for sleep soon. 

**

Dean wakes up a few hours later, to his cage door open wide. He looks around the room and sees no man in white. Dean crawls out of the cage quickly and takes a few minutes to make his legs work properly. He sprints across the room, securing two knives and keeps them clutched to his side. He quietly pads his way to the hallways and peeks out. There’s no men in white. Dean quickly yet stealthily runs down hallway after hallway, curling himself up small to hide when he sees a man in white. Finally, after what feels like a million hallways and doors, Dean finds the main exit. He spots two guards standing there and shrinks back to the wall to hide. Through all the running, he never let go of his knives. He twirls a knife in his hand then lunges forward and slices each guard’s throat before dropping the knives. He throws open the door and runs outside. The sun is blinding and the heat is stifling. Dean sees two men in coats walking around by the side of the building. Dean takes off as the two men spot him and start yelling. 

Dean makes it over the fence, cutting up his hands and bare feet in the process, leaving bright green blood behind. Dean runs as fast as he can, trying to ignore the shrilling sound of the lab’s sirens. Dean jumps over another barrier at the end of the lab’s property and onto the road. He hears screeching of tires and the light from some machinery blinding him. He screams and freezes.  _ I just got free and now I’m gonna die.  _

The car stops and a young man climbs out of his car. “Hey, are you alright?!” Dean looks back at the lab then looks at the man with wide eyes. 

“Help!” Dean manages to get out before collapsing onto the pavement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will be longer later. Hang in there with me!


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy ❤️

Dean wakes up in a very plush bed. He looks around, confused, at the many posters littering the walls in the room he’s in. Dean clutches the warm blanket closer to his chest as a door opens, letting in a small amount of light. A man steps through the door and smiles over at Dean. “Oh, you’re awake. Good!” The man places a bowl of weird looking liquid on the end table next to Dean. “Are you feeling better? You were burning up! I figured it was a fever so I brought you some soup.”  _ Soup. That’s the strange liquid. _

Dean points to the bowl and holds out his hands. The man gently places the bowl in Dean’s hands and moves to grab a spoon. Before the man can even hand Dean the spoon, Dean is tipping the bowl into his mouth and drinking down the whole thing, the soup burning on its way down. “Oh. I guess you don’t need a spoon.” He throws the spoon on the floor and sits, cross legged, across from Dean. “So what’s your name?” 

Dean stares at the man for a while, his brain working in overdrive to get the one word out. “D-Dean,” he finally manages to squeak out. He points to the man across from him, as if to say  _ what’s your name? _

“I’m Sam!” the man, Sam, smiles. Sam’s smile is so contagious that it causes Dean to crack a small smile. “Not to be rude, but can you talk? Or are you limited?” Sam asks, his head cocked to the side. Dean taps Sam’s leg twice, saying  _ the second option.  _ “No worries! So what can you say? I’ve heard you say your name and ‘help.’” 

Dean places the bowl on the side table next to him and clears his throat. He pauses to form his next words. “P-project. Omega. Sir,” he whispers the last word, hanging his head in sadness. 

Sam pats Dean’s leg in an attempt to comfort him. It has the opposite effect has as soon as Sam’s hand makes contact with Dean’s leg, Dean is scrambling off the bed and screaming his head off. “Hey hey!” Sam says, soothingly. “I wasn’t gonna hurt you! I will never hurt you!” 

Dean’s screams die down at Sam’s words and quickly turn into whimpered cries. “I saw you running from the mental institution. So I assume you escaped from there. And when I was dressing you, I saw all your cuts and bruises. You were abused there, weren’t you?” 

Dean nods and slowly sinks back into the bed. “D-Dean was.” Dean bites his lip and crosses his legs. He gives Sam an urgent look. 

“Bathroom?” Dean nods and blushes down to his neck. “Here, I’ll show you.” Sam leads Dean to the bathroom connected to Sam’s bedroom. Dean closes the door gently behind him. “Let me know if you need help!” There’s one tap on the door, as to say  _ okay.  _

Dean slowly takes off the clothes that Sam has put on him and drapes them across the sink. He’s felt that dull ache in his belly for a few minutes now. He gently sits on the toilet and rubs at his slightly round belly. He leans back and waits for the inevitable. 

Only a minute goes by and Dean feels the stinging pain low in his belly. He presses on his belly gently and groans in pain as he feels blood and clots rush out of him and into the toilet. Another sharp pain explodes from Dean’s back and he screams, slumping back. The bathroom door is busted open and Sam rushes in. “Are you okay??” 

“M-my baby,” Dean whispers then passes out in Sam’s arms, cradling his slowly diminishing belly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’ll get better...I hope.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter to get my writing juices flowing again. It’s fluffy! Sorry if it seems like there’s no direction rn. It’ll get there! Bear with me pleeeeease!

Dean opens his eyes slowly, hearing someone singing. “S-Sam?” he whispers. The singing suddenly stops and Sam comes into view. 

“Are you okay, Dean? You scared the crap outta me,” Sam says as he gently pets the top of Dean’s head. Dean makes a quiet purring sound and pushes his head into Sam’s hand. Sam chuckles and kisses Dean’s forehead. “You purr like a cat.” 

“C-cat?” Dean looks up at Sam. “Dean not cat.” His features crumble together in confusion. It’s just so cute that it makes Sam bust out laughing. Sam’s laughter causes a small smile to grace Dean’s beautiful lips. “Hurts,” Dean says, pointing to his stomach.

“Your stomach hurts? Are you hungry?” Sam stands up. Dean nods and pushes the heavy blankets off him. He stands up shakily but before he can fall, Sam has his arm around Dean’s waist. “Careful, now. Take it slow.” Sam helps Dean walk, gently holding his hand as Dean stretches out his sore legs. “Just sit at the table and I’ll bring you something to eat!” Dean sits and folds his hands in his lap.

“Hey, Sam!” A voice scares Dean out of his seat. Dean’s butt hits the floor and he scrambles under the table. “Who the fuck is that?” 

Sam rolls his eyes and punches his roommate’s shoulder. “His name is Dean. I almost ran him over. I brought him back to take care of his bruises and feed him and stuff.” 

Castiel, Sam’s roommate, looks over to where Dean is hiding and shaking. “Is he...challenged?” 

At that word, Sam whips around and gives Cas the meanest face he can muster. “You shut up. He’s hurt. He’s sheltered. He needs love and gentleness.” 

Cas holds his hands up in defeat. “Sorry, man.”

Sam runs over to the table and ducks down to look at Dean. “Hey, it’s alright. It’s just my roommate. He won’t hurt you either,” Sam explains gently, holding his hand out. “Come on, your foods almost done!” Dean crawls out from under the table and, with Sam’s assistance, he gets back up on the chair. Sam brings Dean the ham sandwich he’s made for him, along with some chips. Sam sits across from Dean, chowing down on the same thing. 

Dean stares at his food. He recognizes the bread but it looks fresh. He gently pokes it and giggles at the plushness of the bread. He lifts up the top piece of bread and takes a quick whiff of the other stuff inside. He scrunches his nose up at the smell of the weird white substance sitting on the round tan substance. He pushes the sandwich away from him and crosses his arms. “No,” he squeaks out. “Yucky. Dean no eat.”

“You’re not gonna eat it?” Sam wondered. “What’s wrong with it?” 

Dean takes off the top piece of bread and points to the white stuff, covering the tan substance. “Yucky.” 

“Oh you don’t like mayonnaise? I’m sorry. Eat your chips and I’ll make you a new sandwich!” Sam abruptly stands up, scaring Dean slightly. Dean pops a chip in his mouth and chews slowly, his eyes lighting up. Sam hands the plate to Cas, who’s been watching them with a weird look on his face. “Eat this. Dean seems to not like mayonnaise.” 

Cas shrugs and takes the plate to his room. “See ya, weirdo!” 

Sam makes Dean another sandwich, without mayo this time. He places the plate gently in front of him. “No mayonnaise this time. Eat up!” 

Dean grabs the sandwich with both hands and studies it for a second. He tears into the sandwich, eating like an animal. “Hey, hey,” Sam whispers. “Slow down. I don’t want you to choke!” He kisses the top of Dean’s head then sits in his original spot. Dean blushes but slows down his eating. 

“D-Dean have water?” he asks Sam, slowly as he thinks about the words. 

“Oh, of course!” Sam runs to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. He places it in front of Dean and plops back down. 

Dean stares at it. “How?” He looks up at Sam and points to the bottle. 

Sam uncaps the bottle and pushes it closer to Dean. “You just grab the bottle,” Dean grabs the bottle hard, causing water to shoot out and soak everything. Sam laughs. “I meant you grab it gently and then drink it.” Sam grabs a few towels and gets to work cleaning up the water. 

Dean tries again. He grabs the bottle and drinks it quickly. He drinks the whole bottle, minus the amount that spilled, in only a minute. He places the bottle down as soon as a loud and intense hiccup escapes him. It hurts his chest and he whines as he rubs at his chest. “Hurt.” 

“Don’t drink so fast next time, hon.” Sam throws the bottle in the recycling. “Do you want to take a bath and change your clothes? You seem to be about my size, although the pants are a little long. But no worries! We can shop for you later!” Dean follows Sam back to his bedroom. 

Hours later, Dean is bathed and dressed, with plenty of help with Sam. Dean curls back under the blankets on Sam’s bed, shivering from the transfer of the hot water to the cold air. Sam tucks Dean into the bed snuggly and starts to leave the room. “W-wait.” Sam looks back at Dean, who’s eyes and forehead the only thing visible. “Stay?” 

“Sure,” Sam smiles and sits in the bed next to Dean. “Take a nap. You need your rest.” Dean closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep. For the first time, he can’t wait to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So is Dean talking in the third person annoying or cute? I think it’s cute.
> 
> Also, I dunno why I always end a chapter on Dean falling asleep. Every single chapter won’t be that way! He’s hurt and needs his rest lol I hope you enjoyed!


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say, I have nothing against Cas! Cas is my favorite, as well as Misha! But for this story, he’s a jerk. Okay sorry. Just had to put a disclaimer!

When Dean wakes back up, the sun is shining through the curtains and Sam isn’t in the room anymore. Dean hears him talking to the other man who Dean met yesterday, Castiel. Dean sneaks to the kitchen and peeks his head around the corner.

“You’re treating him like he’s some wounded animal. He slept with you last night!”

“Cas, I’m not treating him like that. It’s obvious he’s been through a lot. I’m just trying to show him some kindness.”

“Oh shut up. You’re falling in love with the poor guy! Do you even know how old he is?? What if he’s like 12?”

“He doesn’t look 12. And I’m not falling in love with him. I don’t swing that way! I have a girlfriend!”

For some reason, Sam’s words caused pangs of pain to shoot through Dean’s heart. Dean’s eyebrows furrowed and he slinked away from the kitchen. He slides to the floor, inches away from the opening of Sam’s room. Neon green tears stream down his face and he tries to wipe them away, as fast as he can. A shadow is cast over him and he looks up quickly.

“Are you crying?” Cas asks, his lip curled up in a snarl. “What, are you a baby?”

“Castiel!” Sam pushes him hard, causing him to tumble to the ground. “Enough! God almighty.” Sam bends down and tilts Dean’s head up to look at him. “Are you alright?”

Dean yanks his chin out of Sam’s hand and starts crying even harder. Sam reaches out for Dean again but Dean crawls away from him. “No! No touch Dean!” Dean runs and locks himself in the bathroom. I’m a baby. A freak. Why did I think Sammy would like me? He’s just being nice.

Sammy sits outside the bathroom door, listening to Dean’s crying. His heart is crushed a little more each heave and sob coming from Dean.


	6. Six

_ “No,” Dean whimpers. “I don’t want this.” Dean pushes at Sam’s chest, trying to heave Sam off his body. “Sam, stop!”  _

_ Sam’s fist collided with Dean’s nose. Dean goes boneless, slowly slipping into unconsciousness. “You’re my experiment now, bitch.” Dean’s mouth opens wide in a silent scream as he’s brutalized, again and again, by men in white coats and Sam. _

_ *~~*  _

Dean awakes with a start, his face stiff from dried tears and his mouth and throat bone dry. His breathing is labored and he’s sweaty. “S-Sam?” Dean calls out, hoping the man is still by the door. 

“I’m here,” comes Sam’s voice, low and comforting. “I heard screaming. Were you having a nightmare?” 

“A n-nightmare, yes,” Dean crawls to the door and opens it slightly. “Dean is not your experiment.” 

“Did I say that in your nightmare?” Sam makes no move towards the opened door. He stays put, letting Dean move at his own pace. 

“Yes,” Dean whispers. “S-Sam?” 

“Yes, Dean?” 

“Wh-why are you helping Dean, m-me?” The door opens a little more and Dean sticks his head and shoulders out. “White coats hurt D-...me. No one help. Why are you?” Dean speaks slowly, trying with all his strength to talk like Sam so Sam can understand.

_ A swift kick to Dean’s right ankle sends him tumbling to the ground. “I said stay put!” the man yells, his face turning an impossible shade of red. The man grabs the collar of Dean’s hospital gown and yanks Dean back to a standing position. “I don’t know why you’re trying to get out of here. You have nobody to run to. Your own  _ **_mama_ ** _ sold you to us,” the man spits out every word with venom, each word directly stabbing Dean’s heart. “You’re my experiment. I paid a pretty price for you. So you will bow down,” the man pushes Dean back to the ground and grabs a syringe. “And do everything I say. My pretty little project.” He plunges the syringe deep into Dean’s neck, chuckling at the strangled screams coming from Dean’s throat.  _

“Dean? Dean? Dean! Hello?” Sam waves his hand in front of Dean’s face. Dean’s eyes have gone glassy and emotionless. “Hold on, lemme call my dad. He’s a doctor, he’ll know what to do.” Sam takes out his phone and dials up his father. “Hey dad? I got a medical question for you.” 

“Go ahead, son. I’m on break. Things have been pretty busy here.” 

_ A tray of beakers fly right over Dean’s head, narrowly avoiding his face. “You lost it again? How incompetent are you?!” The man turns to another white coat, who’s cowering in fear. “I’m a busy man. I had to take a break from  _ curing  _ diseases to come help your sorry ass.” The man’s eyes dart to Dean. “And you. You pathetic, worthless, piece of shit. Why do I even keep you around? I’ve spent 3 years trying to get you pregnant and you keep losing every single one!” He throws another tray of beakers, this time hitting Dean, the beakers shattering into a million pieces, with a million tiny cuts on Dean’s exposed skin.  _

“NO!” Dean roars at the voice coming from the phone. He slams the door and sinks to the ground sobbing. “No, no, no! I won’t go back!” 

“What the hell is going on? Who’s screaming?” Sam’s father, Ivan says. 

“Nothing, dad. Sorry. I just have a friend over and I think he’s having like a panic attack or something. Is there anything I can do to help him?” 

“Just let it run its course and give him some water. I gotta go, break’s over. Bye,” Ivan hangs up before Sam has a chance to even say goodbye back. 

Sam opens the bathroom door slightly. “Dean? What did you mean, you won’t go back?” 

Dean looks up at Sam with neon green eyes and tears running down his face. “The man,” he whispers. 

“What about the man?” 

“He was the one who experimented on me,” Dean whispers. “He hurt Dean. He hurt me.”


	7. Seven

“You mean, the man on the phone was the one who hurt you?” Sam asks, incredulously. Dean nods and clings to Sam’s leg. Sam runs his hands through Dean’s hair, comforting him. “That was my father on the phone. It’s not possible that he was the one that did this to you.” Dean uses Sam as a stabilizer and shakily rises to his feet. 

“Dean knows his voice. I do. He is the man.” 

**~~** 

Hours later, Dean wakes up from his small nap and Sam helps him get started taking a bath. Sam sinks to his knees in front of the bathroom door, keeping an ear out for if Dean needs help. Sam lays his forehead on the door and takes deep breaths. His mind swims with the images of what Dean had to go through at that facility. Dean spent over two hours telling Sam everything that he’s seen, had done to him and happened at the facility. While Dean was talking, Sam felt sick to his stomach and had to excuse himself twice to throw up. 

Sam yanks himself out of his thoughts when he hears giggling coming from inside the bathroom. A small, tearful smile makes it way onto Sam’s face. However, his smile quickly turns into a panicked expression as Dean starts crying and hollering his name. 

“Dean?!” Sam opens the door, roughly and rushes to the tub side. “What happened??” 

Dean sobs and rubs at his eyes with soapy hands. “Eyes hurt!” Sam grabs a cup that he saves for times just like these. He gets soap in his own eyes at least two times a week. He turns on the faucet and fills up the cup. He instructs Dean to rinse his hands off under the faucet. Dean does then Sam gently moves Dean’s head back. Dean’s eyes dart to Sam and looks his directly in the eyes. Sam’s taken aback for a minute, the pure trust yet pain in Dean’s eyes. Sam makes Dean keep his eyes open and he gently pours the water over Dean’s eyes, getting the soap out and easing Dean’s pain.  _ It won’t be the last time.  _

Sam puts the cup away and looks back at the boy, trying his hardest not to look south of his face. Dean smiles wide up at him and claps his hands. “Thank you! It hurt!” Sam’s heart squeezes painfully at the adorableness of this boy.  _ And he is a boy, a young boy,  _ Sam reminds himself. 

“Hey Dean?” Sam asks, softly, wiping his hands dry. 

“Yeah?” Dean giggles as he pushes more bubbles onto his lap. 

“How old are you?” Sam’s curiosity gets the best of him. He keeps catching himself thinking about Dean, in a way he used to think about his girlfriend before he asked her out.  _ I should call her,  _ Sam thinks.

Dean scrunches up his nose as the thinks. “T-teen,” he declares, pouring soapy water on top of the little boat Sam put in the water. “Five.” 

“Teen and five? You mean fifteen?” 

“Yeah! Fifteen!” Dean smiles. “Men gave De- me fifteen carrots on birthday.” 

“You didn’t have cake on your birthday?” Dean shakes his head and blows at the bubbles covering his lap. “Do you know when your birthday is?”

**~~** 

_ “Here, moron,” one of the men says as he tosses a bag of carrots to Dean. “It’s January 24th, which means it’s your birthday. The boss insists on us helping you celebrate. Do you know how we’re gonna celebrate?” Dean doesn’t look up. He quietly munches on his carrots, trying to push himself as far away from the man as possible. “We’re gonna put a baby in ya. That’s how we’re gonna celebrate. You’re 15 now and starting puberty so it’ll stick this time.” He grins, the yellow and black spots on his teeth showing. The sight almost causes Dean to throw up his birthday carrots, but he keeps them down. After all, that’s the only good food he’ll get for weeks.  _

_ **~~**  _

“J-January,” Dean mumbles. “24.” 

“January 24th? I can remember that!” Sam smiles.  _ I’ll throw a gigantic party the day he turns 18.  _

Dean frowns as his bubbles start to disappear. “Bubbles leaving, Sammy.”

Sam chuckles and pats his head. “That means it’s time to get out! I put a towel on the sink for you and some clothes next to it. Let me know if you need help?” Dean nods and stands up with a bounce. Sam sucks in a breath as he watches Dean’s package bounce, finally looking at it when he’s not panicked. “Shit,” Sam is thrown back to reality and he exits the room, as fast as he can. “Shit, shit, shit!” 

Sam lays down on his stomach and groans as his erection presses into the sheet. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine the grossest things he can. It fails as images of Dean in the bath flash between each gross image. Sam flips over onto his back and shoves a hand down his pants. He grips the base of his cock and lets out a shaky breath. “Sh-it,” he whispers as he starts slowly stroking himself. It doesn’t take long, only a minute of replaying the scene of Dean bouncing out of the tub, for Sam to spill into his jeans and all over his hand. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.  _ When did I even close them? _

He hears a squeak coming from the area of the bathroom and he whips his head around so fast, he feels dizzy. He sees Dean standing in the doorway, face red and biting his lip. “Sorry, Sammy!” Dean runs back into the bathroom and closes the door. 

“Shit!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo idk what that was? Was it progress? Was it nonsense? I dunno


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s hella short. I haven’t written in a few weeks and I gotta get my mojo back. Hope you enjoy anyways. It’s starting to go somewhere I hope 😂

The next day, neither Dean nor Sam mentions the incident after bath time. Instead, wracked with guilt, Sam cooks Dean a luxurious breakfast. It includes sausage, bacon, eggs, pancakes, French toast, biscuits and sausage gravy. It’s overkill, Sam knows it but he watches as Dean digs in with a satisfied grin on his face and he knows all the effort was worth it. “So, I was thinking we should do some clothes shopping for you today. What do you think?”

Dean’s eyes light up with glee. “Dean love that. We go now?” 

Sam laughs and ruffles Dean’s hair affectionately. “You finish eating. I gotta shower and get ready then we can leave. I’ll leave clothes out on the bed for you!” Sam leaves Dean to take a shower and get ready. 

Meanwhile, Dean takes his time eating and looking around the kitchen. He feels safe here. Sammy takes care of him, feeds him and keeps him warm under his blankets. Dean feels warmth in his chest and face as he replays last night when he caught Sammy touching himself. He’s seen many of the men in white do that at the hospital. He knows what comes after. 

_ “Don’t look so scared, baby boy,” one of the older men says to Dean. He’s touching himself, his hand moving fast. He unlocks the cage and grabs Dean’s legs as he starts kicking and screaming.  _

Dean is knocked out of his flashback by someone slamming a heavy book on the table in front of him. Dean looks up with wide eyes and sees Cas, Sammy’s friend, smirking at him. Dean shrinks back in his seat as Cas leans forward. “Listen, princess. Sam is getting too attached to you, like you’re his damn cat or something. So let me warn you. If you hurt Sam, physically or emotionally, I’ll hurt you. Got it?” Dean nods and hops off his chair. Cas watches him as Dean runs to Sam’s bedroom. “Damn. I can see why Sam’s attached. Hell of an ass.” 

Once safe from Cas in Sam’s room, Dean strips down slowly and looks over the clothes Sam left out for him. He brings the shirt up to his nose and sniffs it deeply, letting the smell of Sammy,  **safety and love,** surround him. Dean hears the shower turn off and he quickly throws on the clothes before Sam can see him naked, again.  _ Not that I minded all that much.  _

**~~** 

Sam watches as Dean piles clothes into his cart. “Do you know your size?” 

“Nope! I try on?” Dean points to the dressing rooms and stuffs more clothes into the cart. Sam’s grabs some boxers for Dean then follows as Dean skips to the lady in charge of the dressing rooms. 

“One room,” he looks down at his cart. “Um, a lot of clothes for him to try on.” He chuckles and shrugs like, ‘kids, what can ya do?’ Sam helps Dean separate the clothes into shirts, pants and boxers so Dean can make his own outfits. “If something doesn’t fit, hang it on the door and I’ll grab it and put it back, okay?” Dean nods and pushes Sam out of the stall and locks the door behind him. Sam squashes a small flicker of fear that bubbles up in his chest when Dean locks the door and sits on a bench near Dean’s stall. A flyer next to the bench catches his eyes and he grabs it. 

_ Dean Wesson _

_ 15 years old  _

_ 5 feet 9 inches  _

_ Light brown hair, green eyes _

_ Last seen a week ago  _

_ For any info call, 419-667-9736 at the Winchester Institute for the Criminally Insane _

  
Sam’s eyes widen as he reads the flyer.  _ That’s my dad’s hospital! There’s no way that a hospital that’s supposed to help people will be the place that Dean was tortured.  _ Sam rips up the flyer and throws it away, his breath coming in fast and staggered. He can’t get enough air. He grabs hold of the edge of the bench as his vision goes black. “Sammy? Sammy! Oh no!” he hears as he falls to the ground. 


	9. Nine

Dean has been staying with Sam for almost a week now. Cas stays out of their way and Sam has managed to squash any feeling he might have been developing for the boy in his care. He did, however, break up with his girlfriend because he wanted to dedicate his time to teaching and taking care of Dean. Sam marks the calendar for January 24th even though it’s months away.  _ Will he still be here by that time?  _ Sam thinks to himself but quickly swipes it away. He’s bought Dean a whole wardrobe, and bought an air mattress for himself to sleep on. He’s not so selfish that he’d make his guest sleep on the air bed. He can live without his comfortable bed for a bit. However, his birthday is coming up and he’s torn. He wants to spend his birthday with Dean but his parents always invite him over to their house for the day to celebrate. He knows he can’t bring Dean, his father would recognize him and take him away. 

“Sammy?” Dean asks as he steps into the room. “Learn shapes now?” Sam realized that Dean has never gone to any kind of school so he’s bought books for homeschooled kids and he’s slowly teaching Dean the basics. 

“Yeah, go to the kitchen table. I’ll be there in a minute,” Sam throws him a smile and watches as Dean bounces towards the kitchen. Sam switches the laundry over and starts the dryer. He picks up the dirty sheets and shoves them in the washer. The past few days Dean have been having accidents during the night. No, not urine accidents. He’s been having wet dreams, a part of puberty that Sam is thankful is over for him. Sam knows Dean is embarrassed but he just gives him a reassuring smile and washes the sheets every morning. Sam slides into the chair next to Dean’s and starts helping him with shapes. As Dean does a work page, Sam’s thoughts wander back to this morning when Dean woke him up. 

_ “Sammy?” Dean gently rocks Sam’s body awake. “Help me, please.”  _

_ Sam wakes up and looks up at Dean. “You okay?” He glances at the clock and sees that it’s 6am. Dean whimpers and points to his pants, where there is a wet spot slowly growing bigger. “Another wet dream?” Sam gets up and starts stripping the bed.  _

_ “I do not like the wet dreams.” Dean turns around and Sam sees a wet spot in the back as well.  _

_ “Hey, Dean, what’s that?” Sam tugs on the pant leg of Dean’s pants. “Is that from the wet dream too?”  _

_ “Yeah, it is my slick. Men in white say it helps me get babies in my tummy.” Dean goes into his dresser and gets his clothes. “It never happened before tonight but I ‘member them talking about it.” Dean strips down in front of Sam and puts on his new pajamas. He throws the wet clothes in the hamper and turns back to Sam. “Sammy? Help me sheets please.” Sam gets up and helps Dean strip the bed and put on new sheets. “Puberby sucks.”  _

_ Sam laughs quietly and pats Dean on the back. “It’s puberty and yes, it does suck. Can I ask you a personal question?”  _

_ “Sure!” Dean lays back down and smiles wide up at Sam.  _

_ “You’re slick. It’s really never happened before?” Sam tucks Dean back into bed. “Did the men in white say why the slick happens?”  _

_ Dean nods and cuddles deeper into the bed. “Men said it helps me get babies in my tummy. But only if my...thing is hard, it happens. Like during my dream.” Sam kisses Dean’s head gently.  _

_ “Thanks for answering my question. Get a few more hours sleep and I’ll wake you up in time for breakfast!” Dean smiles sleepily at him and covers himself up to his chin and falls asleep quickly.  _

Sam is snapped back to reality by Dean waving his work page in his face. “Sammy! I am done!” He giggles as Sam gives him a bitch face and grabs the paper from his hand. “Can I have snack?” Dean clears his throat and sits up straighter. “Mean, may I have a snack please?” He corrects himself slowly, remembering the day before’s lesson. 

Sam slides the paper back to Dean. “You got number 5 and 7 wrong. Fix ‘em while I fix ya a snack.” Sam gets up and heads to the kitchen. He bends over to grab the crackers from a bottom shelf. As he grabs the box, he hears a loud moan and little whimpers coming from Dean. Fearing the boy had hurt himself, Sam stands up and whips around, too fast. Dean is squirming in his chair and his face is dark red. “Dean? Are you okay?” Dean shoots up out of his chair and dashes to Sam’s room, but Sam catches a glimpse of the wetness on Dean’s bum. Sam follows after Dean, catching the door before it closes. “Dean, what happened?” 

Dean looks over at Sam, his breathing coming in a little labored. “I have feeling like I do during wet dreams. But I didn’t have a wet dream!” Dean blushes and tries to press his bulge back into his body. 

“Do you want me to help you? I can teach you how to get rid of your...erections yourself.” Dean nods and bites his lip as he looks at Sam. Sam runs and grabs two towels and spreads one out on the bed. “Can you take off your pants and boxers for me?” Dean does as asked. He moans loudly as Sam grabs him and sits him on the bed, on the towel. He blushes even harder.  _ Fuck,  _ Sam thinks but squashes it down. Dean squirms more and whines in his throat as he feels more slick slide out of him. “Dean? Pay attention to me, okay?” Dean nods, indicating that he’s listening. “Now, you need to wrap your hand around your erection.” Dean does that, squeezing tight, too tight. He hisses out in pain. “Gentle now, Dean,” Sam whispers. Dean loosens his grip and moans softly. “Good boy,” Sam whispers again, not daring to raise it any higher so he doesn’t scare the boy and ruin the mood. “Now move your hand up and down, slowly. Too fast and it’ll be over too soon.” Dean nods and starts moving his hand, too slowly to be pleasurable. “You can go a little faster,” Sam moves a tad closer. “May I help?” Sam touches Dean’s wrist gently. Dean opens his eyes and looks up at Sam. He nods and pauses his movements. 

Sam wraps his hand around Dean’s and helps him move, not too fast and not too slow. Dean lays his head on Sam’s shoulder and relaxes his hand, letting Sam completely take over. “Can I try something?” Sam whispers, pausing his movements. Dean nods and buries his face in Sam’s shoulder. Sam lets go of Dean’s cock, letting Dean’s hand fall to the side. Sam runs a finger through some of Dean’s slick that’s slowly oozing out onto the towel. He lets it drop onto Dean’s erection, watching as droplets slowly run down and meets his balls. Dean moans as he watches the same scene and he grinds his bum against the bed. 

“S-Sammy, please,” he whispers. “Hurts.” Sam wraps his hand around Dean’s cock and starts moving fast. He feels his own pants getting tight as he feels Dean’s slick move with his hand. It only takes a minute of Sam’s ministrations and Dean’s moaning loudly, painting his stomach and Sam’s hand white. Dean goes boneless against Sam’s chest and pants hard. 

“Feel better?” Sam asks, wiping his hand on the second towel. He cleans off Dean’s stomach and pushes his shirt back down, wondering when Dean pulled it up. Dean nods and looks up at Sam’s face, his eyes widening as soon as Sam’s eyes make contact with his. Dean lifts himself up a little as Sam bends closer to Dean. Their lips meet in a soft, chaste kiss.


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is filler, really. Next chapter should have some drama.

Sam hears someone’s throat clear and he pulls away from Dean’s lips. He looks up to see Cas standing in his doorway, arms crossed. “Sam, can I talk to you in the kitchen please?” Sam nods and touches Dean’s back gently, letting him know everything is okay. Sam follows Cas to the kitchen, hanging his head in shame of what his friend must think of him. Once in the kitchen, Cas grabs Sam’s shirt and shoves him against the wall. “What the fuck are you thinking?! He’s a minor! You could go to jail! And don’t think I don’t see his cum all over your pants. I know what you did.”

Sam blushes and looks down at the floor. “I’m sorry, okay?! I just...I couldn’t help myself. He’s so cute and I just wanted to help him.”

Cas scoffs and lets go of Sam. “Seriously. You do shit like that again, I’ll turn you into the police.” Cas turns on his heel only to run straight into Dean and knock him over. He looks down at the shaking boy that’s close to tears then flares at Sam. “Minor equals jail time.” Cas stomps out of the room and slams the door to his bedroom. 

Sam bends down and wipes some tears off Dean’s face. “Hey, it’s okay. Cas isn’t mad at you. He’s mad at me.” He helps Dean stand back up. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” 

Dean sniffles and buries his face in Sam’s chest. Sam can’t help but to wrap his arms around the small boy. “C-can I do to you what you did to me?” Dean whispers, twirling his finger around Sam’s shirt. “I wanna try.” 

Sam inwardly sighs and his heart crushes itself. “Dean, no you can’t. I shouldn’t have done what I did. You’re young and it’s illegal.” 

“But I won’t tell…” Dean runs his finger down the front of Sam’s shirt. “It not illegal if nobody knows.” Dean reaches Sam’s zipper and he starts unzips and unbuttons it, fumbling slightly. Sam’s knees give out on him and he falls to the floor, taking Dean with him. Dean climbs onto Sam’s lap and with renewed confidence, he undoes Sam’s pants and pushes it down Sam’s legs, as fast as he can. Dean wraps his hand around the base of Sam’s erection, too hard and too tight. Sam hisses And lays a hand on Dean’s arm. 

“Loosen your grip a bit, babe,” Sam whispers. Dean listens and loosens his grip. He starts moving his hand up and down, slowly, watching Sam’s face for any uncomfortableness. The slow drag of Dean’s hand on Sam feels like heaven yet hell. He feels his heart beating against his ribs with every movement of Dean. His conscience has mysteriously disappeared as he sinks further into immorality. Sam’s hips move with Dean’s hand, spurring him on to go faster. Sam lets out a surprised gasp as he feels something wet on his tip. He opens his eyes-  _ when the hell did I close them?-  _ and his brain short circuits when he sees Dean experimentally licking at his tip like a lollipop. “Shit, Dean. What’re you doing?” 

Dean looks up at him and shrugs. “I seen men in white use their mouths on each other. To prepare for me. It look like it feel good. I wanna make you feel good. You want me to stop?” 

“God no,” Sam chuckles. “You just surprised me. You just do what your instincts tell you.” Dean smiles wide and pushes on Sam’s chest to make him lay down. Dean lays down by Sam’s hip and wraps his hand around Sam’s base again. He licks a long trail from the base to the tip. He licks around the tip then completely envelopes it and goes down as far as he can. He’s still nowhere near where his hand ends, his mouth so small and Sam being so big. Dean moves his mouth and hand in unison, the double sensations hitting Sam deep in his gut. He feels his muscles tighten and he’s cumming so fast, he doesn’t have time to warn Dean. Dean tastes the first drop of cum and he pulls away, just in time to get his face covered in the rest of Sam’s load. After the fog of pleasure dissipates, Sam quickly sits up and studies Dean. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” Dean starts giggling as he watches some drip off his face and onto the floor.

“It tastes yummy! Surprised me at first.” Dean wipes and licks the rest off his face. Sam watches him in a daze. When he snaps to, he pulls his pants back up and wets a washcloth. He wipes up Dean’s face so it doesn’t get sticky. 

“Are you okay?” Sam lays his hands on Dean’s shoulders, making him look each other in the eyes. “No flashbacks?” 

Dean smiles wide and wraps his arms around Dean’s neck. “No flashbacks! Just happy!”


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Rape, Drunken Rape, Blood

**Time Jump: One Month**

“But Cas, it’s Sammy’s birthday today. I wanna bring him breakfast in bed but the stove is ouchy. Can you please help?” Dean pouts and gives Cas puppy dog eyes. Over the past month, Cas and Dean have been getting along, becoming friends even. 

Cas sighs and sets his coffee mug down. “Fine, I’ll help. I’ll do the cooking and you bring me the food. Deal?” 

“Deal!” Dean giggles and rushes over to the fridge. “Sammy likes eggs and bacon.” Dean gently takes out the eggs and grabs the bacon. He places them near Cas. “He also likes toast!” Dean grabs a chair from the kitchen table and pushes it against the fridge. He climbs on it and reaches, on his tip toes, and grabs the bread. He pushes the chair back. “Sammy likes strawberries, right?” He looks over at Cas who’s already cracking open some eggs. 

“Yeah, strawberries and blueberries. Those don’t need cooked. You wanna clean ‘em and put ‘em in a fancy bowl?” Dean squeals and gets to work, picking out the most delicious berries and stacking them in a pleasing way. Cas grabs a tray from the bar and places the bowl of berries and the plate of food on it. “He likes milk in the morning. Can you pour him a glass?” Dean rushes back to the fridge and tries to grab the milk. 

“Cassie, it’s too heavy. Help me?” Dean looks over at Cas and pouts cutely. His sweater is too big on him so it covers his hands. He tries to hide his smile with his sweater paws as Cas takes out the milk and pours a glass for Sam. Dean grabs the tray and pads his way to Sam’s door. He pops open the door with his hip and smiles wide when he sees Sam still fast asleep, his arm hung over where Dean would be laying. Dean places the tray on the bedside table and climbs onto the bed. “Sammy?” He climbs over Sam and settles over Sam’s hips. “Sammy, wake up!” 

Sam flinches awake but calms when he sees Dean’s smiling face. “Hey, babe. What time is it?” 

Dean giggles and jumps to the floor. “It’s breakfast time!” He places the tray on Sam’s lap and bounces on the balls of his feet. Sam smiles wide and pulls Dean in for a chaste kiss. 

“Thank you so much, baby! What’s the special occasion?” Sam starts eating, watching Dean shuffle through a bin of dirty clothes. 

“It’s your birthday, dummy.” Dean sends him a frown. “Remember?” He finds what he’s looking for and takes out a wrapped present. Dean places it gently next to Sam and climbs up on the bed next to him. “Open it! Open it!”

Sam pops the last of his breakfast in his mouth and places the tray on the floor. He rips off the wrapping and throws it at Dean’s face, causing the young boy to giggle and lay his head on Sam’s shoulder. When Sam takes off the lid and sees what’s inside, he’s speechless. Tears spring to his eyes and he gently lifts the picture frame out of the box. “It’s us,” he whispers. Dean smiles up at him and kisses his cheek. 

“From our pizza date!” It’s a picture from their first official date. Cas took the picture, despite all his rumblings about illegal things and jail. Sam and Dean are standing in front of the front door, Dean dressed in his fanciest sweater and tight jeans and Sam in plain jeans and a nice shirt. Sam has his arm around Dean’s shoulder and Dean has his face buried in Sam’s side. Both faces sport the widest smiles either have ever seen. 

“Oh baby boy, thank you!” He grabs Dean and plants the biggest kiss they’ve ever had on the boy. Until then, it’s been chaste kisses and handjobs but Dean has something else on his mind this morning. 

** 

Later that night, Sam goes out drinking with Cas and a few of his other friends. He bribed Dean to stay home with lots of kisses and some birthday blowjobs. At the bar, Cas buys the first round of shots. “To the birthday boy!” he cheers and everyone downs the shot. The boys tease him about his ex-girlfriend and Cas just smirks but keeps his mouth shut. Hours later and many many MANY drinks, Cas and Sam grab a taxi home. 

Cas stumbles to his room, muttering something along the lines of “keep it quiet in that bedroom.” Sam opens his bedroom door and he’s met with a naked Dean, smiling shyly at him. 

“Hi, Sammy,” he sits up, blushing from head to toe. “I’m your third birthday present.” 

“Oh baby boy. You’re the best present,” Sam slurs slightly. He quickly strips himself and climbs over Dean, placing small kisses along the healing bruises and scars over Dean’s stomach and chest. Dean mewls and grinds against Sam’s leg, spurring Sam to suck and bite small hickeys all over Dean’s neck. Sam quickly pulls away and flips Dean over, grinning at the squeak that comes out of the younger boy. Sam feels Dean’s slick slowly ooze out and he dives in, tasting and savoring the taste of the slick and of Dean. Dean gasps and pushes back against Sam’s mouth, high moans escaping him. 

Sam’s alcohol fueled brain stops fighting against what Sam’s been holding back since his first kiss with Dean. He pulls away and wipes the slick off his face. “Sammy?” Dean looks back at him, his eyes wide and blissed out. Sam spreads Dean’s cheeks and smears some slick over his erection. “Sammy, no.” Dean whimpers. He’s seen that look many times. A knot of terror forms in his belly and he tries to crawl away. “Sammy, no! Not ready!” He starts crying, kicking out at Sam. Sam pins Dean’s legs underneath his knees and bends over Dean’s form. “Sam, no please!” Dean screams and claws at Sam’s arms. Sam is too far gone. He doesn’t hear Dean’s pleas, his screams. Sam slams into Dean, going as deep as he can. Dean screams at the top of his lungs as he feels his slowly healing cuts break open again. It only takes Sam a few thrusts to orgasm, deep inside Dean and collapses on top of him. Dean shakes and whimpers, trying to get Sam off him. He hears light snoring and takes the opportunity of a sleeping Sam to kick him off himself and runs to the bathroom. He falls to the floor and crawls into a ball, sobbing his heart out. 

_ The men in white snicker at Dean sobbing. “Get over it. You’re our pet and we can do what we please with you.” Another man steps forward and thrusts himself into Dean, too big and too fast for the little boy to handle. The men’s cum mix sickly with Dean’s blood and they laugh when they finish with Dean, throwing him back in the cage. “Never expect anything to different. You’ll be someone’s pet to do whatever they please.”  _

The door opens and Dean screams out, thinking it’s Sam. Sam was the man he loved and trusted.  _ How could he do this to me?  _ An arm wraps itself around Dean’s shoulder. “Hey, are you alright?” It’s Cas, come to check on him. He could hear Dean’s cries and screams. “Tell me what happened.” He glances at the floor and sees the blood mixed with white stuff. “Oh shit.” He pushes wet hair from Dean’s forehead. “Did Sam do this to you?” Dean nods and cries harder, burying his face in Cas’ side. 

“I, I tried,” Dean manages to get out between sobs. “I tried to stop, stop him. He just, just kept going!” 

Cas starts the bath water and adds some of Dean’s favorite scents and toys. He gently places Dean in the bath. “Just relax in here for a bit, okay? I’m gonna go talk to Sam.” 

Dean grabs Cas’ arm so tight, he’s sure to leave a bruise. “Don’t let him in here. Please.” He looks up at Cas with bloodshot eyes, his lip quivering again, threatening to cry again. 

“Don’t worry. He’s going nowhere near you again.”


	12. Twelve

Sam wakes up late the next morning, with a massive hangover. He groans as he sits up. “Babe? Can you hand me some Tylenol?” He goes to touch Dean’s shoulder. But there’s no shoulder, only sheets. Sam finally opens his eyes and looks over at the empty spot next to him. Panic immediately bubbles up in his chest. “Dean?!” he yells, then grimaces when his head thumps. “Dean!” He quickly gets out of bed and rushes to Cas’ room. “Cas??” He pounds on the door. “Dean’s missing! Open this door!” 

The door whips open to reveal Cas with such an angry look on his face that if looks could kill, Sam would be dead. “Go away. Dean’s not missing. He’s sleeping in my room. He doesn’t want to see you.” 

“What do you mean?” Sam tries to get a look behind Cas, to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend. “Just let me see Dean.” Cas pushes Sam into the wall opposite his door. “Cas! What the hell is your problem?!” 

“What the hell is your problem?!” Cas screams. “You know what you did last night. Dean hates you. He never wants to see you again.” Cas shoves Sam hard into the wall again before letting go of him and heading back into his room. 

“What did I do? I don’t remember a thing after the fifth shot.” Sam stops Cas from closing the door with his foot. “Why does Dean hate me?” 

Cas flashes him another one of “looks could kill” looks. “You raped him last night. I found him sobbing in the bathroom, covered in blood and your cum. You son of a bitch!” Cas punches Sam in the gut, throwing Sam to his knees, gasping for air. “He’s gonna stay in my room from now on. If he ever wants to talk to you, I’ll let him. But let him heal first.” 

Sam slowly regains his breath. “I forced him? No, I’d never do that. You’re lying.” Sam stands back up but continues breathing heavily. 

Cas opens his door a tad. “Don’t talk or touch him. But look.” Sam peeks in and sees Dean curled in a ball on Cas’ bed. He can see the blood stain on Dean’s pants and the sheets. “I’m not lying. You fucked up big time. He was just starting to trust people again. He told me he’s in love with you. But now? I’m not so sure.” Cas looks back at Dean who stirs in his sleep. “I’d kick you out but your name is on the rent agreement. Just stay away from Dean.” He slams the door in Sam’s face.

Sam takes a step back, his back meeting the wall. He slides down the wall as tears slide down his face. He closes his eyes and concentrates on trying to get his memory back from last night.  _ Please Sammy no! No! No no!  _ His mind flashes back, tiny snippets of everything he did. He sees the blood ooze out of Dean, with his own semen. He collapses to the floor, screaming and crying, trying to yell his apologies to Dean through the door. Sam goes at this for several hours before the door opens slightly and he sees the bright green eyes he loves so dearly.

“Sam, please stop,” the young boy whispers. “I hear you. I wanna sleep.” He looks back at the bathroom door, where Cas is presumably taking a shower. 

“Dean, baby.” Sam scrambles to his hands and knees. “I’m so sorry. You know that wasn’t me. I’d never do that sober. I was drunk, I didn’t have full control of myself.” Sam meets his eyes, both pair of eyes brimming with tears. 

“I know,” Dean whispers and looks down. “Give me time. I’m upset. Still bleeding. Need to heal.” He pats his stomach gently. “I need to keep calm. I might have a baby inside me. I’m not gonna lose this one.” He looks back up at Sam. “Give me time to heal and forgive you. Please?”

Sam moves forward but stops when he sees Dean flinch back. “I’m sorry. Sincerely sorry. I’ll leave you alone. I’ll give you time, as much as you need.” He slides his hand slowly toward the open door. Dean lays his hand on Sam’s gently then yanks it back when the bathroom door opens. He slams the door shut before Sam can get anymore words out.

Sam gets up and sulks back to his room. He finally notices the blood stained sheets on Dean’s side of the bed. Sam rips off the sheets and shoves them in the washer, silent tears falling the whole time. He heads to the kitchen next, noticing the dirty dishes from the breakfast dean made him yesterday. “God, I can’t believe I fucked up this badly. And what if he gets pregnant? Fuck,” Sam talks to himself, out loud. He bangs his head on the fridge door, reveling in the pain coursing through his head. Sam pulls himself together and starts making Dean’s favorite lunch, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs in it. He places a Diet Coke, Dean’s favorite pop, on the tray next to the bowl. He grabs one of Dean’s silly straws.  _ Dean loves these straws. He’s so young. God, I really did fuck up big time.  _ He places the tray in front of Cas’ door and knocks on it, not too loudly since he doesn’t want to scare Dean. “Dean? I made you your favorite lunch. I put it by the door.” Without hesitation, he goes back to his room and closes the door. “I have to give him time,” he whispers to himself.  _ My baby boy will come back to me.  _ “I love you so much, Dean,” Sam says, hoping and praying that Dean somehow heard him. He picks up the present Dean got him, the picture of them before their first date. He kisses Dean’s face gently then settles back into bed for a post-hangover nap, holding the picture in its frame close to him. 


	13. Thirteen

**Time Jump: 6 Weeks**

Every morning for the past six weeks, Sam slips a note under Cas’ bedroom door for Dean. The note is always the same:  _ I’m so sorry. I hope you’re feeling okay. I love you so much, Dean.  _ Every afternoon, Sam finds the note ripped into pieces in the trash can in the kitchen. It breaks his heart but all he can hope is that Dean read the note and Cas didn’t just rip it up without letting Dean see it. Sam sleeps with the picture of him and Dean on their first date every single night. It never leaves his arms and he always keeps it close to his heart. 

That night, Cas comes home with a bag full of items from the local pharmacy. Sam immediately catches him before Cas can retreat to his room. “Castiel!” Sam grabs his arm. “What’s that stuff?” Cas shoves Sam away from him and goes to open his door but Sam catches him again, this time grabbing the bag. Sam opens the bag and counts 6 pregnancy tests and some prenatal vitamins. “Is he pregnant?” Sam looks up at Cas with pleading eyes, begging him to tell him any small of Dean’s life. He hasn’t caught sight of Dean is 6 weeks. 

Cas grabs the bag back. “He might be, hence the tests. He texted me this morning and said he was sick again. He has been for the past week so I got the tests.” Sam and Cas hear the soft sound of Cas’ bedroom door opening and Sam immediately pushes past Cas to get to the door. The door is slammed shut just as quickly, just in time to be closed in Sam’s face. “Go make him some tea, the caffeine free kind. Place it by the door but then go away. Please.” Cas opens the door and slips into his room before Sam can get a glimpse of Dean. 

Sam makes Dean his favorite tea and places it beside the door. He attaches a small note to the cup then knocks twice on the door, the sign Cas and Sam worked out to let Cas or Dean know that Sam dropped off something for them. Sam goes to his room and takes out his black box, the black box that contains items he’s bought for himself and Dean. It used to contain Sam’s condoms and some sexual toys be bought for Dean, to get him used to that sorta stuff before they went all the way.  _ Now he’s never gonna wanna see me. My stupid drunken self pushed him too far too fast.  _ Sam has hidden all the condoms and toys. It makes him sick to look at it now, after what he’s done. Now his black box contains various stuff he’s bought for Dean. He’s bought Dean a bear figurine and a Batman figurine. He showed Dean the Batman movies and tv show and Dean absolutely loved it. Dean loved to watch bear documentaries while Sam was at work, the animal quickly becoming his favorite. There’s also a few rings, not fancy ones, just ones Sam won Dean from a claw machine. Dean loves them, though. He always put them on or twirled them around his fingers. Sam pets the miniature stuffed poodle he won for Dean at the carnival on their third date. Dean slept with this every night. He always kissed it goodnight. Sam wonders if Dean misses the dog at all.  _ I wonder if he misses me.  _

There’s a knock on his door and he quickly glances at the clock.  _ Damn, I’ve been standing here staring at this stuff for over an hour.  _ He quickly places Dean’s trinkets back into the box and opens his door. A small gasp escapes when he sees its Dean, still dressed in PJ’s, standing in front of him. Dean’s holding something behind his back and he’s not looking up. “Dean?” Sam asks, tentatively. He doesn’t want to spook Dean into running back into Cas’ room. This is the first time he’s seeing Dean in the flesh for a whole 6 weeks. “Are you okay? Where’s Cas?” 

“He wanted me to give this to you.” Dean hands Sam a pregnancy test box. Sam opens it and counts the tests inside, six total. He takes one out, positive. He takes a second one out, positive. This goes on, taking out all six and each one reads the same. Positive. “Obviously, the baby is yours.” Dean finally looks up and looks Sam in the eye. 

“Does this mean-?” 

“No,” Dean interrupts him. “I don’t want to get back together. I’ve forgiven you but I’m not over it yet.” Sam is taken aback for a moment, Dean’s speech obviously way better than it was 6 weeks ago.  _ Cas must be teaching him.  _ “But I do want your help, during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. If you don’t want to help, that’s fine. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I am not like that.” Dean gives Sam a pointed look. Sam feels like he’s been slapped in the face. 

“I’m sorry. Really, so sorry. You know-“ 

“I know that wasn’t really you, just drunk you. I know you’re sorry. I get your note every day. I’m the one that rips it up and throws it away every day.” Dean looks Sam in the eyes again and Sam sees fire in his eyes. He’s never seen Dean so angry. 

“I’ll stop with the notes. I’m sorry. I didn’t know they were making you angry.” Sam retreats back into his room and places the pregnancy tests in his black box of Dean’s stuff. 

“What’s that?” Dean asks, his curiosity getting the best of him. He takes a few steps into Sam’s room. 

“The box?” Dean nods and takes another step forward. “It’s a box of your stuff. Your bear and Batman figurine,” he shows Dean the stuff as he talks about it. “All the rings I won you. And the poodle.” When Sam takes out the stuffed poodle, tears spring to Dean’s eyes. “Do you want it?” Sam holds it’s out to him. 

“Yes,” Dean breathes out and grabs it quickly. He kisses the poodle’s head and snuggles it close to his face. “I missed this doggie so much. It’s been tough to sleep without it.” 

“You could’ve asked for it...I’ve kept all your stuff. You could’ve asked Cas for it and I would’ve given it to him...to give to you.” Sam points to a brand new dresser that Dean doesn’t recognize. “I bought that to keep all your stuff in. I haven’t gotten rid of anything. I figured you might want it someday.” 

“Someday?” Dean asks, his eyes moving from the poodle to Sam. “What do you mean? Are you leaving? Am I being kicked out? What do you mean?” 

Sam shrugs and pushes his hands in his pockets. “I thought I’d move out soon. I know it sucks to share a room with Cas. So if I move out, you can have this room. I’ve already got boxes to start packing up.” Sam turns his back to Dean and touches the picture frame he sleeps with every night. “It’s for the best. Don’t you think?”

“No!” Dean yells and pushes at Sam’s back. “You better not leave! I may still be mad at you but I never stopped loving you!” Sam turns around and looks at Dean with wide eyes. Dean’s full on crying now, struggling to wipe away the tears at the rate they’re falling. 

“You loved me?” Sam asks, his heart restricting at his use of past tense. He prays that he’s wrong, that Dean still loves him and he hasn’t completely ruined their relationship. 

“I love you. There is no past tense. I love you and I have since our first kiss.” Dean crosses his arms and cocks his hip. “You messed up big, yeah. I tried to get over you. I realized I never could get over you. So please, please don’t leave.” Dean’s tears have stalled, leaving his shirt soaked and his eyes red. 

Sam wraps Dean up in his arms, the small boy completely covered by Sam. Dean wraps his own arms around Sam’s waist, squeezing him hard and trying not to cry again. Their hug is interrupted by Cas clearing his throat. Dean pulls away from Sam with a sniffle and walks over to Cas. “I gave him the tests.” Cas ruffles Dean’s hair gently and lays his hand on his shoulder. Dean sneaks another look back at Sam. “Sam wants to move out,” Dean whispers to Cas who throws Sam a killer look. 

“He does, does he?” Cas keeps his eyes trained on Sam. “Well, I don’t think he will now. He got you pregnant. There’s no way Sam is going anywhere.” Sam shrinks back and looks down from the look and vibe Cas is giving off. 

Dean comes back to Sam and gives him a gentle hug then goes to leave the room. “Wait, my poodle.” Dean runs back and grabs his stuffed poodle from where he threw it on the floor. Cas is already back in his room. “I’ll see you soon, Sammy.” Dean rushes back to Cas’ room and Sam hears the door shut gently, not the usual slam. Sam gets a brilliant idea and he grabs his black box. He takes the picture of him and Dean out of the frame and places it gently in the box. He closes it then sets it next to Cas’ bedroom door. He knocks twice then heads to the kitchen. He grabs a Coke as he hears Cas’ door open. He hears Dean say something, he can’t quite make it out. But he assumes it’s something like thank you but he’s not sure. He peeks his head out into the hallway and sees Dean looking into the box. Dean looks over at him and gives him a smile. He mouths ‘thank you’ then closes the door again. Sam’s heart swells, glad Dean talked to him, that Dean wants stuff that reminds him of Sam. He sits at the kitchen table and sips at his Coke, completely losing himself into his thoughts.


	14. Fourteen

**Time Jump: 2 Weeks**

Every morning for the past two weeks, Dean is in the bathroom throwing up and Sam is always sitting next to him on the tub, rubbing his back and helping him clean up after. Dean barely manages to get down a bottle of water every morning but by suppertime, he’s ravenous. He eats anything and everything that Sam or Cas puts in front of him. He’s also more cuddly, albeit Cas never lets Dean cuddle with Sam. It burns Sam up inside to see Cas and Dean snuggling on the couch, watching a movie almost every day. But he says nothing. He knows he has no right to demand anything, even cuddles from Dean. 

**Time Jump: 2 Weeks**

Another two weeks go by and Dean’s now in the middle of his third month. His morning sickness still hits full force every morning but now he’s hungry by lunchtime. He seems to be over his cuddle phase, much to Sam’s relief. He keeps a close eye on Cas and Dean, paranoid that his best friend is trying to steal Dean from him. One day when Sam comes home from work, he sees Dean in the kitchen, cooking something. “Dean?” Sam places his briefcase on the table. “What’re you doing?” 

Dean looks back at Sam and smiles wide. “Hiya Sammy! I’m making you dinner!” He turns back to his food, careful not to ruin anything. 

“Where’s Cas? You shouldn’t be cooking on the stove by yourself.” Sam takes a few steps closer but still stays a bit away. He knows Dean has given him boundaries and he doesn’t wanna pass them, again. 

“Cassie is at work. He says his boss is making him pull an all-nighter.” Dean flips the burgers and squeals when he sees he didn’t burn them. “Don’t worry about me cooking by myself. Cas has been teaching me!” Dean looks back at Sam, still smiling wide. 

“I think I read about this. You’re nesting, aren’t you? Trying to make a home perfect for the baby.” Sam grabs a water from the fridge, noting all the pop is gone and replaced by nothing but water. 

“You’re reading up on pregnancy?” Dean asks, actual surprise in his voice. He seems on the verge of tears. “Why would you do that?” 

Sam shrugs and looks down. “I wanna be able to help you if ever ask me for help. If you need to complain about some pregnancy thing, I wanna have some clue what you’re talking about.” He looks over at the stove. “Might wanna check your burgers. The other side might be done.” He tips his bottle to drink more but it’s suddenly knocked out of his hand. “What-“ Dean jumps up and grabs Sam’s face, pulling it down to his level. He kisses Sam fully, wrapping his arms around his neck. The kiss lasts for quite a bit, Dean adding tongue much to Sam’s surprise. However, he doesn’t pull away. Dean’s finally kissing him after two months and he wants to savor this rare moment. Dean pulls away after a few minutes with a loud gasp. 

“The burgers!” He flips them and whines when he sees they’re a bit burnt. “Oh fuck. Now they’re ruined!” Dean looks close to tears again, this time for a bad reason. He scoops the burgers onto the buns and looks over at Sam. “I’m sorry I ruined them.” 

Sam smiles and bites his lip, trying to calm his heart and  _ other lower  _ body parts. “You didn’t ruin it, babe. I mean, Dean. Sorry. I’m okay with my burgers being a little burnt! It’s my favorite actually.” He grabs a plate and places one of the burgers on it. He sees all his favorite burger fix-ins sitting on the counter. “You really know how I like my hamburgers, don’t you?” He throws a smile over at Dean who seems dazed. “Hey, are you alright?” He places his plate down and moves to touch Dean’s shoulder. “Maybe you should sit down. Are you feeling sick?” 

Dean shakes his head and smiles wide. “You called me babe. I haven’t heard you say that in forever. I miss it,” Dean whispers, looking down to hide his giant smile. He bites his lip and looks over at his food. 

“Oh,” Sam chuckles and gets back to making his hamburger. “I’ve tried not to call you that because I don’t know how you feel. Us wise. Babe is more of a boyfriend pet name and I don’t know if you ever wanna be my boyfriend again. So I’ve tried to just keep it...friendly.” He finishes making his burger then looks over at Dean. “Aren’t you gonna make your burger? I thought we could eat and watch some tv together.” 

“Why did you call me babe just a minute ago? You still don’t know what I want.” He looks at Sam, arms crossed and hip cocked. 

Sam looks away and plays with his water bottle. “The kiss. You kissed me and I retreated back to the mind frame that you’re mine. I know the kiss probably didn’t mean anything, just hormones. I’m sorry for slipping up.” Sam grabs his burger and starts to head for the living room. 

“The kiss wasn’t a mistake.” Sam turns around at Dean’s words. “It meant something.” Dean doesn’t turn around to look at Sam. Again, Sam’s heart constricts at how grown up Dean sounds.  _ He’s only 15, he shouldn’t sound this grown up.  _ “I’ve always been yours, Sammy. I just needed time. Are you saying we’re broken up?” 

Sam sets down his plate and goes back to Dean, moving Dean so he can look him in the eyes. “After what I did, I thought there was no way you’d still want to be with me. I thought you had broken up with me! I thought there was no way you’d ever kiss me, hell, even look at me again.” 

Dean sniffles and wipes a few tears that have escaped. “I never wanted to break up. Cas says we just needed a break. Like like those Ross and Rachel characters.” Dean wraps his arms around Sam’s middle and hugs him tight. “I’m not ready to sleep in that room with you yet. I’m not ready for anything sexual. I’m ready for kisses and cuddles, however.” Dean looks up at the older boy. “I’ll still need more time for the other things. It might be a long time.” 

Sam kisses Dean’s forehead. “I’ll wait forever. I love kisses and cuddles.” He kisses Dean gently. “And I love you.” 

Dean giggles and wraps his arms around his neck. “I love you too!” He kisses Sam fully, pulling him close. He pulls away after a minute. “Let’s eat now! I’m starving!” Sam and Dean take their plates to the living room and cuddle together. They eat and watch Dean’s favorite bear documentary. 

**Time Jump: One Month**

Dean’s now in his second trimester and he’s already starting to show. He’s in the middle of his fourth month and his hormones are going insane. He’s glad, however, that his morning sickness is gone and he’s able to eat in the mornings now. Cas wasn’t happy when Dean said that he didn’t need Cas to keep Sam away from him anymore. However, Cas still agreed to sleep on the floor and let Dean have his bed till Dean was ready to move back into Sam’s room. 

One night, however, Dean sneaks out of Cas’ room and into Sam’s. Sam’s in a deep sleep but he wakes up when he hears his door open. He glances quickly at his clock.  _ 1:40am.  _ Without turning over, he grumbles, “Who’s there?” 

“Sammy?” Dean whispers and touches his shoulder gently. “Sammy, I need your help.” Dean sniffles which immediately makes Sam turn around. Dean’s eyes are pouring tears and he seems wrecked. “Sammy, please.” Dean climbs into bed next to Sam. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam sits up and pulls Dean into a hug, onto his lap. “Did you have a nightmare?” Dean shakes his head and buries himself further into Sam. He slides his hands under Sam’s shirt and kisses his neck. Sam swallows his lust and takes a deep breathe. “Dean? Hey, babe. Talk to me. Are you okay?”

Dean whines and grinds against Sam’s lap. Sam immediately takes his hands off Dean’s back and places his hands behind his back. He’s not gonna push dean farther than what Dean wants. He’s not sure what’s going on with Dean. “Sammy,” Dean whispers. “I need you.” He takes Sam’s shirt off and bites and sucks a small hickey on Sam’s collarbone. Sam holds back a moan, letting out a shaky breath instead. 

“Dean,” he whispers, trying to pull Dean off him enough to look at him. “What’s wrong? Why are you doing this?” Dean takes his own shirt off and Sam looks down, Dean’s belly slightly protruding. The sight strikes him with a pang of lust that confuses him. Dean’s belly also gives him another thought. “Oh my god. You’re in your second trimester. All the websites say that you’ll be very horny because of all your hormones. Okay, Dean.” Sam slips out from under Dean and Dean looks at him with glazed over eyes. “You don’t actually want this. You just think you do because your hormones from the baby is taking over.” Dean ignores Sam’s words, taking off his pants and boxers. Sam’s stops breathing for a second at the sight of Dean naked, for the first time in almost 4 months. Sam take another step back. “Dean. Listen to me. This is just hormones.”

Dean stands up and pushes Sam against the wall. “Sammy.” Dean unbuckles Sam’s pants and pushes them down. “Stop pushing me away.” Dean licks at Sam’s chest. “Hormones is part of it. But, Sammy, I’m fully aware of what I’m doing. I know what I want.” Dean gets onto his tiptoes and kisses Sam deeply. When he pulls away from the kiss, Sam’s eyes stay closed. Dean takes this opportunity to shove Sam’s boxers down and gets onto his knees. “I know you said you’ll wait. And you did. I’m ready now. I need you, Sammy. I need you to take care of me.” Dean grabs Sam’s quickly hardening cock by the base and takes his as far into his mouth as he can. He sucks him hard and almost expertly. Sam’s knees go weak and he collapses onto them. When he falls, Dean pulls away with a pop. He looks up at Sam worriedly. “Are you okay?” 

Sam chuckles and nods his head. “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just been so long. I didn’t wanna cum yet.” He lifts Dean back up to his feet and kisses him deeply. “Should we go to the bed?” Sam asks, hesitantly. 

Dean giggles and jumps on the bed. He spreads his arms and legs out across the bed. “C’mon Sammy!” He smiles wide and winks at Sam. Sam bends over him and kisses him deeply. But he pulls away and heads to the dresser that he keeps for Dean. He takes out a black box, a replacement black box. “Hey, what’s that?” Dean gets out of bed and walks up behind Sam. “It looks like my box with my figurines and rings.”

Sam smiles and opens the box. “Before I messed up, I collected toys and lube and condoms. For us, for me to try with you. After I messed up, I hid the box. I didn’t wanna look at it. So I bought a new box and filled it with happy things, like your rings.” 

Dean reaches past Sam and grabs one of the smaller butt plugs. He studies it for a minute. “This goes inside of me?” He looks over at Sam, a smile on his face. 

“Y-Yeah,” Sam swallows the lust burning in his chest. “It stretches you. Or keeps...nevermind.” Sam grabs the plug from him and places it back in the box. “But I didn’t bring this out for the toys.” He grabs a condom and hands it to Dean. 

“Isn’t it a bit too late for this?” Dean giggles and throws it back in the box. “We don’t need it while I’m pregnant!” Dean grabs Sam’s hand and pulls him to the bed. He pushes him down and climbs over him. When Dean grinds against him, he feels Dean’s slick coating his cock. Dean moans and lays his forehead on Sam’s. He reaches back and holds Sam at the base. He positions himself over it and slowly pushes down until every inch of Sam is inside him. “Fuck, Sammy.” Dean lifts his head up and looks up at him with wide eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Sam pulls him in for a kiss. He lays his hands on Dean’s hip as he starts to move, slowly but deeply. Dean lets out a loud groan then a sharp scream as Sam rubs against his prostate. 

“There, again!” Dean closes his eyes and buries his face in Sam’s neck. Sam grabs hold of Dean’s hips tighter and angles himself so he continually rubs against Dean’s prostate. “Faster!” Dean commands. Sam immediately obeys and pounds into him fast, intentionally prodding into Dean’s prostate. Without warning, Dean screams and cums hard, coating Sam’s stomach. Dean’s orgasms spurs Sam on and he slams into Dean as deep as he can then let’s go. Dean moans loudly and falls, muscles like jelly, onto Sam. Sam quickly flips them around so there’s no pressure on Dean’s belly. He pulls out of Dean slowly and drops to his stomach. “Sammy? What’re you doing?” Sam ignores him and spreads his cheeks. He dives in, licking and sucking as much of his own cum out of Dean as he can. Dean screams and grinds against Sam’s face, his breathing becoming labored. “Fuck! Sammy!” Dean’s second orgasm is so strong, it lifts him off the bed, pushing Sam’s head away from him. Once Dean comes back down, he sits up and looks at Sam with wide eyes. “What the hell just happened?!” 

Sam laughs and wipes his face off with the sheet.  _ I’m gonna be washing it anyways.  _ “That’s called rimming. Or if you wanna use the vulgar way, ass-eating.” He grabs a washcloth and goes to the bathroom to wet it. When he comes back, he wipes Dean and himself clean. 

“Where’d you learn that?!” Dean still hasn’t moved, his muscles even more like jelly. He’s gone boneless. 

Sam laughs and crawls next to Dean. He lays down and kisses Dean’s cheek. “When I first realized I had feelings for you, I did some research.”

Dean laughs and wraps his arms around Sam. “You did research for gay sex?!”

“Oh shut up!” Sam laughs. “I’ve never done it before and I wanted to make sure that when we did it, I did it right.” His smile falls and he bites his lip. “Well, that was my plan before I fucked everything up. Once again, I’m so sorry.” 

Dean smiles and kisses Sam sweetly. “You don’t have to keep saying sorry. I know you are.” He cuddles close and covers him and Sam up. “I love you.” 

Sam smiles and pushes some hair out of Dean’s face. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is super dark...idk what happened.


End file.
